Wednesday, September 17, 2008
It's just in your head.
So all I do is read my psychology books and learn about the human mind and it's cognitive processes. Everyone has an opinion on personality theory, maladaptive thinking and what makes people neurotic. I however love to find passages that standout to me as real life lessons. Things that are not theoretical but actually make sense. Today I found a quote that made me think of Lorien- it could be her mantra "From becoming an individual no one is excluded, except he who excludes himself by becoming a crowd" (Soren Kierkegaard). My sweet friend who refuses to read the Twilight series because it is the "in thing" right now- I love you for your convictions and not just being one of the crowd (which I am in, but I love the books). Sometimes there is safety in the crowd, but the individual is then lost. We have to become who we are because the crowd changes with time. It is good to find qualities in others that we may want to develop in ourselves, however, we have to stay authentic to who we want to be and the person God has shaped us to be by our experiences. My next discovery can be seen in all women, myself at the forefront, "Emotional disturbance is frequently associated with caring too much what others think. This stems from people's belief that they can accept themselves only if others think well of them. They escalate their desire for others' approval, and the practical advantages that normally go with such approval into an absolutistic dire need to be liked, and in so doing they become anxious and prone to depression" (Corsini & Wedding, 2007) We all want to be liked but we can not be liked by everyone. We have to accept who we are and hope that others will like us for ourselves and not who we think they want us to be. I just love learning about the way we think and how closely some of us (me) live on the edge of being mentally unstable. I'm not ashamed to say that I have more phobias than any person I know. What I love is that I am learning how to cope with them and how to change my thinking. I just wanted to share with you all how much I love what I am learning and can not wait to become a therapist some day.
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3 comments:
Yes, that might just be my new motto :-) I am who I am because I used to be the crowd. I knew no individual. I had to find her by being alone. For a long time. There is safety in numbers, but my personality weakens, and like it said, the individual becomes blurry or lost. It is a downward spiral from there (for me). Although I must say you girls are doing a good job and I have never felt like anyone other than myself around you all.
And you my dear - phobias? I want to hear some of these. I of course am the one who is convinced my husband's schooling/profession has been more useful to me than all the clients he will ever see :-)
Thank you so much for posting this. I love feeling your passion of Psychology coming through.
Wow Amy that was great! All my life I have never been a part of a crowd. I had friends most of whom seemed to be in one crowd or the other. There have been times when I wondered what it was like to be in the crowd but if there was ever a time when I wanted to actually be a part of one it was usually because a good friend had been swallowed up by one never to be seen, (excuse the mellow drama), and I simply missed them. What you had to say about depression is true. In my case postpartum depression seemed to bring on the feelings of needing to be liked, loved, needed, and wanted. Funny thing is when you are experiencing that depression you don't notice how much you are liked even by the ones closest to you because your view is slanted a bit. The awful thing is that right after giving birth, (when your life has turned upside down and you lose a bit of yourself to the all the changes taking place) well this is when I think it is most important to feel liked, loved and supported. Kinda ironic isn't it that this is when a large group of women tend to feel liked loved and supported the least...So Not Fare! I have been returning to the understanding that not everyone is going to like me and that it is ok, (however I don’t let that be an excuse to act like a jerk lol) I have some casual friends, a few close close friends, extended family, my children and husband I know they like me and that is enough for me to feel content. Oh and I will be one of your first clients if you are still in the area when you start your practice! ;o)
President Thomas S. Monson said in the last General Conference, "Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows." I don't know if that applies to what you wrote about...but hey its good too! Love yourelves. I feel like as long as my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me...I am okay. So, I guess I am okay, cuz they will always love me. That is the only way we should gaige our self worth or identity...is our relationship to the Saviour.
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